My friends and relatives ask me countless times whether I will have a wedding ceremony or if I will just make a quick trip to the Attorney General’s and get it over with. Well, here is my little dilemma. The thought of closing my eyes then on opening them, I find myself married chap chap at the AG without going through all the drama that comes with weddings and saving all my energy for later is quite tempting. But then again, I can’t miss the opportunity to have every single lady wishing they were me and the famous team ‘mafisi’ thanking God that they are not in the Groom’s shoes:)……as if!
I can not imagine going through a whole lifetime without seeing all those perfect plastic smiles from all the people attending my wedding. Not because they are unhappy with my promotion to ‘baby factory’, but because every lady would kill to be in my shoes at least for that day. Every lady has that little girl in them that would give anything to have that princess experience that one gets on the wedding day. At least once in their lifetime aint so bad. We all know that such occurrences are mostly found only in those cute ‘Lady bird’ books or ‘Sofia the First’ cartoon e.t.c.
This brings me to something that has bothered me for a while now. Ladies, What really goes on in our minds during weddings?
Well, let me save you the trouble of combing your pure mind for answers. I for one have a lot of things usually going on in my mind during the whole predictable wedding routine:
i) “Aaaw! They look so cute together but the guy looks cuter”
ii) “Damn! Why couldn’t I meet the guy first?” Especially if he has a body like Channing Tatum in the ‘Majic Mike’ movie ( That’s just for a split second though, as I must not sin in the eyes of the Lord and put the newlyweds’ marriage asunder………of course in my mind)
iii) She is so lucky! From which market did she get this fine piece of meat?! Of course she must have been the one who did the chasing and probably proposed!
iv) That’s a very nice wedding dress but I would have rocked it if it was made this way or that way, or it would just look better on me:)
v) The cake looks so yummy but if I were the bride, I would have had the bakery custom make cake for everyone with their photos on them as souvenir:).
Ok, cool off n don’t bite me! No one likes getting just a tiny piece of cake after waiting so long for that plate to reach you only to find cake crumbs and cold hard icing sugar. You however remain seated and maintain your cool like the decent, classy lady you portray yourself as, at least in case of any cute potential dudes in attendance. No one knows who might be watching you from a distance you know! Could be the groom’s best friend or hot colleague e.t.c. Anyway, you hope that the brides maids care enough to get you fresh pieces, at least to end your day with some taste of sweetness even if you will leave solo. Sadly, they don’t since they probably assume that you might have gate crushed as none of them knows who you are or claim to be.
Ok, maybe my thoughts are a bit extreme but lets be real. We all have weird thoughts that run through our minds and even if I have not personally experienced all the above, am sure some ladies have had way worse thoughts.
We normally get well physically represented but are spiritually, emotionally & psychologically elsewhere organizing our own weddings. We love the bride but we definitely love ourselves too! There aint nothing wrong with that! At least for the single ladies that are there as invited guests.
If you are part of the organizing committee or brides maids, maid of honor etc, thou shall not dare have such evil thoughts! Lest you confuse yourself for the bride and get married by mistake to the bride’s groom!
With this article I think its now pretty obvious that I should just go to the AG’s as I doubt it if anyone will show up at my wedding.
Nktest! My big, silly mouth!